Let's talk sex

Xander and Zipper playing

Okay, let's not. At least, not the way that sounded. But I do want to discuss some things about male dogs and female dogs, and I'll be using the correct word for females, which is bitch. (Want to know if someone is deep into dogs? If they are totally blase about throwing around phrases like "oh, she's a lovely little bitch," and "I've got a bitch in the classes" while sitting at a restaurant munching on won tons.)

I was at a 3-day AKC agility trial in Glen Carbon, IL this weekend. I traveled with a good friend, and left the two Doberman girls at home. She has a 5 year old intact male German Shepherd. Xander weighs just short of 80 pounds. And I had Zipper, also intact male, a Min Pin weighing in at a whopping 10 pounds. Let's put it this way. Xander's head is bigger than Zipper's entire body.

Zipper managed to collect two Novice Jumpers legs and one Novice Standard leg. In English, that means that he now is 2/3 of the way to his Novice title in both of those styles of agility. Jumpers is a numbered course where only jumps, weaves, and tunnels are used and Standard is the other common course type used in AKC. It involves everything in Jumpers plus contact obstacles; the dogwalk (thin plank raised 4' off the ground), teeter-totter, aframe, and pause table, where the dog is to sit or down for 5 seconds during the course to show control.

But all that aside, there were two things that struck me over the weekend. And both involved boy-dog stuff.

There are a lot of stories about intact male dogs. They're aggressive. They'll fight other male dogs. They'll go insane if a bitch in season (ready to breed) is anywhere within a 5 mile radius. Basically, they're dangerous and should be neutered at the first possible moment.

But Xander and Zipper? They don't read those stories. Xander, who could easily kill Zipper with a single bite, was exaggeratedly careful. Slowly, he play bowed. He gave teeny-tiny Shepherd kisses which were still big enough to soak Zipper's head and neck. Zipper, meanwhile, buzzed around Xander like a tiny bee on crack, wiggling and squirming in delight, throwing himself onto his back to flail his legs in the air. Not a tooth shown, not a hackle raised, just two intact males having a ball playing together each night at the hotel. So my foremost and best big memory of the weekend was of the two male dogs playing happily together.

The second thing I'll carry away from the weekend is starting to learn how to deal with a male dog when a bitch in season is indeed nearby. Because there was one at the trial, almost certainly being shown even though that's strictly illegal in agility. At the trial site Zipper was very distracted and very, very interested in the floor. He refused to down on the table Friday, too busy sniffing it. Had the same problem Sunday, and he spent a lot of time whining. It was an unmistakable sign. "Girl here! Really, really good smelling girl!" But though I did have more trouble with him than usual, he did manage to work, and even got those qualifying scores I mentioned above. Another myth down the drain, that male dogs can't think at all if there's a bitch in season nearby. They can and do learn to deal with it.

I'm all for neutering any and all dogs who are pets, who are mixes, who are not going to contribute to improving the breed as a whole. I absolutely agree that all adopted and rescued dogs must be altered before placement. But let's not assign blanket stereotypes to un-neutered dogs. Not all intact males are aggressive idiots, and for those that are, I hate to say it, but neutering probably won't fix it. Those of us with intact males DO have an extraordinary obligation in both training and management. We must teach our dogs what is acceptable behavior and what is not. We also must be 100% committed to never, ever allowing our dogs out of our direct control for a single moment. No wandering the neighborhood, ever. Always securely confined within a fence, in a crate, or on a leash. Period.

But please don't make the assumption that if our dogs are intact they are dangerous. Xander and Zipper would laugh at that one. Or maybe not. They'd be too busy playing to bother.